It’s about that time, again. Where you start thinking about all the resolutions you’re going to make that will change the trajectory of your life as you know it.
But if you’re honest with yourself, what is the use? That $30 membership to the gym you can reallocate to the beer fund. After all, the booze in the man cave is at an all-time low and needs replenishing! #ThanksCOVID
And, don’t even get me started on the Men’s Health magazine you thumb through once a month. You’re never going to get to Marky Mark status, and Jason Momoa is a physical specimen that you just can’t compete with (sorry, killer.)
Even Corzez from The Shop has something to say about this. "Quitting’s for losers, does Adam Sandler stop making movies even If they suck, NO. Did the Ocean Spray guy call It quits when his car broke down, No. Cortez ain’t no bitch, and my New Years resolution is to never stop Skating, taking hour long lunch breaks and going on respectful dates with a Chow-Hall 7."
It’s All About The Anti-Resolutions
Here are some of the “anti-resolutions” we have seen thus far.
“This year, I will not stop “Losing” Officers’ shot records,” says R.G. - sounds intentional, and I’m okay with that.
“I will not stop asking questions at the end of the brief, ” N.C. - this guy has all the saved rounds.
“I vow never to stop making my coworkers uncomfortable with my crude, twisted dark sense of humor.” K.G. - There is no such thing as too much dark humor. In fact, it is food for the soul.
“I commit to continue using LSD before night live-fire ranges.” A.E. - Honestly, this sounds like a better show than the pre-COVID Cirque du Soleil I watched in Vegas while I was five sheets to the wind.
Get Ready For The New Year
So. before you kick off the new year of 2021, my suggestion would be to pour yourself a cup of joe - preferably BRCC - and take a hard look in the mirror. Now, repeat after me. “DBAP!” Which, for those of you who don’t know, means “DON’T BE A PUSSY”. Instead of making resolutions, think about all the things you won’t stop doing. Because here in America, you’re not a quitter.
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